Bicycle thieves should be castrated and held in stocks along popular bike lanes where passing commuters could spit at them and use bike pumps to slap their humiliated, thievin’ faces. With a hope-filled Obama campaign, I have no doubt that this policy will be enacted. But that still leaves the problem of actually catching the soulless crooks.

Enter the exploding bike lock.

Mike Lambourn’s SmartLock is a cable lock filled with colored liquid that explodes everywhere if the lock is cut. The liquid is not filled with flesh-burning acid (as it should be) and the explosion will not take off the perp’s hand (as it should), but the lock might make somebody think twice before running off with your new 10-speed.

According to Lambourn’s website:

SmartLock is a cable lock that has cores of compressed air and liquid running through its body. If cut, the liquids spray out over the perpetrator, his tools, the bike and the scene of the crime. A bike that has been stolen will be covered in colored dye (the dye renders the bike undesirable and therefore unsellable ) as well as translucent Smartwater - an invisible forensic property marking liquid.

Although the SmartLock is a novel invention, it would be more marketable if the perp got a current of, say, 50,000 volts shot through his body (enough to blow out his thievin’ eyes), or if a bunch of titanium spikes shot out and tore apart his evil-doin’ hands.

Will Americans rise to the challenge of designing a bike lock that deals justice as well as security?

Yes we can.

[Via: Cnet]