Welcome to this week’s Sex and the Woods: Lifestyle Advice for the Modern Adventurer. Remember, we’re here to give fresh perspective on age old questions and solutions to new quandaries which means we will take questions on sex and relationships in addition to everything from eco-etiquette to adventure tips. Just email advice@wendmag.com. We answer every Thursday!
Here in the NW, we love visiting hot springs, so it’s no surprise that today’s question is all about just what to wear on your first hot spring visit with your new love interest.
Dear SATW-
A girl from one of my classes that I’m really into invited me to go on a hike this weekend to some hot springs. At the hot spring that she invited me to go to, I’ve heard that most people hang out in the nude, but that makes me a little nervous as this is sort of our first date. Should I bring my board shorts or should I assume we’re going naked?
Nervous About Nudity
Dear N.A.N. -
We’d like to start our response by giving you a congratulatory internet high-five. It’s not everyday that you get invited to embark on a hot spring adventure with a hawtie you’ve been ogling during lectures. Plus, if she’s inviting you on a trek into the woods followed by a hot soak then she sounds like a low maintenance, dream-worthy, eco diva… nice work!
Now let’s get to your question: naked or not? Our standard SATW answer is “when the decision is tough, go buff” – but let’s take a moment to analyze why.
First off, being naked is in fact the most sustainable option. Those synthetic fabrics used to manufacture your bathing suit are made from petrochemicals, meaning you shouldn’t have bought your trunks in the first place. Show your commitment to the environment and leave them at home! Everyone likes a little wild in the wilderness, especially when that “wild” shows you’re green.
Secondly, there’s nothing more seductive than demonstrating that you’re a supremely confident individual with no crazy complexes or issues. You don’t need to go stripping down every time you come across a body of water, but having the courage to go nude in places where it’s socially acceptable (hot springs, naked bike rides, nude beaches, Burning Man, hiking trails in Switzerland, etc.) shows that you’re a chill guy that knows how to relax in any situation.
Keep in mind however that there might be some skeezy old wrinkled hippies rocking out at the hot springs. As much as we love our environmentally conscious heirs, it will spoil the birthday suit mood. Since this is your first date, you might want to forgo the hot spring altogether – nothing ruins a day like wandering eyes from an eighty-year old that reminisces about their time on the Dead tour.
This all being said, our answer is based on the assumption that said love interest is in fact an environmentally conscious, outdoor loving, super cool chick that’s all about going sans clothing every now and again. How sure of this assumption are you? If she doesn’t possess the above qualities, then she might be a bit scared off by your love of the au naturel. The safe bet is to pack the trunks just in case… but if she does turn out to be a swimsuit-at-the-hot-springs kind of a girl, we’ll save you some pain and tell you right now that you don’t want to be dating her. Break it off before it gets too serious and find yourself another lady who’s more comfortable with getting a little wild in the wilderness!
Good luck
Anna + Dave
