Wend Gear Review: The Great Sleeping Bear Sleeping Bag

Before purchasing a sleeping bag there are three important questions you should ask your friendly retail employee:

1. What is the warmth-to-weight ratio?

2. What material is the shell made out of?

3. Will this bag protect me from bears?

The employee will jump to answer the first two questions, the answers to which are printed on a spec sheet that he or she will happily share with you. But the third, and arguably most important question, will throw the employee for a loop. Bears were not covered in training he will say. Bears were not covered in training…

Fearing the sale will be lost he will try to steer the conversation back to specs. The bag is 850-fill-power goose down. It will keep you warm at twenty below. But what of the bears, you ask again. Will this bag keep them at bay? He may stammer some pathetic lie, like “yes, it will,” or “there aren’t even any bears in this part of the country.” Don’t believe his lies. There are bears. And they want to eat you. That’s why you should settle for nothing less than artist Eiko Ishizawa’s Great Sleeping Bear sleeping bag – a bag specially designed to fill you with the mystic power of bears so that you can ward off the real thing.

Eiko Ishizawa on his Great Sleeping Bear sleeping bag:

…this bear sleeping bag is the metaphor of the changing the positions between being eaten by the bear, being a bear, who killed a bear and wearing a bear skin, or who see it and wants to hunt the bear. By using the functionality of sleeping bag this won`t be neither a costume nor the theatre.

An added bonus of the Great Sleeping Bear sleeping bag will be the look of terror on your camp mate’s faces when they wake up next to you and start screaming about bears in the tent. Their pathetic calls for help mean the mystic powers of the bear are working.