This video marks the final in the Cross Crusade Cyclocross Diaries for 2009, though our intrepid webisode host, Heidi Swift will be reporting on the Cyclocross Nationals in Bend a little later this week. Thanks to all of our sponsors and thanks to Heidi and Eric for making such a good series. Can’t believe it, but across our site, youtube and other sites that posted the Diaries, over 40,000 people have watched the show. Thanks for watching!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Lack of Chamois pad + Fishnets + Mud + Gold Lamé Bodysuit = Seriously uncomfortable single speed racing.

Luckily, Beer + Tequila + Strippers + Thunderdome = Complete and utter invincibility.

I’d tell you what happened at SSCXWC last Sunday, but honestly? I have no idea. You’re just going to have to check out the video and see for yourself.

Gas masks and petticoats,
Swift

Omygod! It’s alivvvvvvvve!

No jibber jabber from the peanut gallery this time, just click it and enjoy.

(If we get one more tardy slip we’re gonna have to go do detention, huh? We’ll try to avoid that.)

Cyclocross season has officially started.  All that other crap? Those dry, fast races where all the roadie jerks took you to the bank and made you feel like you were going to choke on your own intestines? That was just warmup. An early season diversion.

Cross Crusade number four took us to Hillsboro, Oregon where we laid siege to a muddy, mucky, fabulous Washington County Fairgrounds. We raced through mud-puddles, mud-bogs, mud-traps, animal pens, and throngs of screaming masses.

We fell down and suffered near impalement on course markers. We took dollar hand-ups and bunny-hopped fake human body parts.  We may or may not have received stitches, but we definitely refreshed ourselves with beer.

We reveled in the first real mud of the season, emerged with muck-specked faces and spent the next two days trying to blink dirt particles out of our eyeballs.

It was awesome – and we have the video to prove it.

Oh my gosh!
It’s here, it’s finally here!

We apologize for our tardiness (two demerits, Wend!) but Cyclocross Diaries Episode #3 is finally here and we sure hope you think it was worth the wait.

We went to a horse park. We raced our bikes through horse pucky (that’s my father’s term).  There was a big bike-racer-eating hill, a bumpy meadow section that made hamburger meat out of even the most burly hands, and A LOT of beer (but not quite enough).

Seriously – like, we ran out.  I even ransacked Brad Ross’ Cross Crusade RV looking for the secret stash and came up dry. That’s ok, though, because we lived to tell the tale – and here it is.

P.S. Mad props to our new sponsor – Widmer Brewing Company. I think the 15 second spot we plopped in the middle of this video is super cute and Widmer is making all these shenanigans possible, so hats off to those esteemed Makers of Fantastically Yummy Beer.

Whew! Sorry for the delay, folks – we meant to have this ready for you yesterday but we were a little overwhelmed by the amount of sheer awesomeness that all the racers at Rainier provided last Sunday.

We’ve got it together now and hereby present to you episode number two of The Cyclocross Diaries.

Crashes, dogs, leg-crushing kiddie races, donut-eating fitness coaches, waffles, and cowbell. Not to mention a few burly racers (peep the post-race dish with Kari Studley, Wendy Williams, Erik Tonkin, and the completely endearing Sean Babcock.)

Long live the Crusades!

[Stay-tuned for a possibly renegade behind-the-scenes video featuring secret Unicorn v. Sasquatch footage]

PS: For more from the pain cave department, check out my race report on iwend.

How to make a near-perfect Cross Crusade kickoff?

One part Alpenrose Dairy, two parts bumpy-ass meadow, one part Barry Wicks+Ryan Trebon.  Sprinkle a little stuffed clydesdale, add a dash of cowbell, throw in some hot boys and girls in skinsuits and mix well.

All that was missing was rain, mud, and a little beer. But we can wait for all that – it’s a long season after all.

More the 1400 people stormed the Dairy this past Sunday to race in the season opener of the largest cyclocross series in the world (holla!).  When Portland does ‘cross, we do it big-style.

Intrepid Wend videographer Eric Keeney and I were on hand to document the pain, suffering, mayhem and madness. We had a little technical difficulty with our tapes this week, but we’ve performed a seven-step exorcism on our equipment and we promise it’ll be all shiny and perfect for the next go-round. Look for us at all the Crusade races – we’ll be out every week to torment, heckle and otherwise document.

Provided my lungs and head are back to normal functioning capacity (see Flu), we should also have some sweet helmet cam footage from Rainier next week.

More cowbell!  Check it.