Cyclocross Diaries in Progress: I Heart Dayquil

(or… how not to start your cyclocross season)

I got the flu.

I was in denial for a few days until the morning I woke up with a three-alarm fever and body aches from here to Kansas. I’m not a graceful invalid (actually, I’m not really graceful at anything), so I pouted and sobbed and generally threw a fit.

I was also on assignment that day for the paper, so I actually had to rise from the dead and pretend to be human. Worse? After pretending to be human, I had to make words line up into sentences and paragraphs that made sense.

On the upside, I was covering the kickoff of Oregon Manifest which completely rocked. Surrounded there by beer and bike people and sexy, handmade bikes, I thought I was pulling off a rally.  I thought I was getting away with something. I thought I had beaten the flu.

I didn’t. I went home, mashed on my computer keyboard, filed my story and headed off to bed with a capful of Nyquil and a head full of hope.

Surely I would pull a recovery in the middle of the night. Surely I would race Alpenrose. After all, it’s the opener of the Cross Crusade. It’s the big show – the number one.

No dice.  Not only did I wake up worse off, I woke up pissed off. There’s no point racing ‘cross with lungs full of crap and a body that feels like you’ve just ridden a double century. I packed up my bag and headed off to the dairy to find people to heckle.

If I couldn’t race, at least I could make other people’s races more hellish than they already were, right?

Dear Mr. Keeney, Wend’s super fabulous videographer was on hand to document the heckling, the hurting, and the pre-and-post-race near-hurling (so far as I know no one actually hurled, but there was a lot of discussion about it).

This year, instead of just race reports, we’re also putting together Cyclocross Diary Videos, so if you happen to see me zero-ing in on you with a microphone in my hand and a tall, handsome videographer in tow… run.  Run for the hills!

Who knows what will make the cut, but here are some of my takeaways from today’s throwdown at the Dairy:

1. Molly Cameron looks fast. Seriously! I think she pulled a sixth place finish tonight and claimed to have bad legs but holy hot shit… who cares about places when you look like that?
2. Popular start line banter for the women’s B field: getting laid and throwing up. Not necessarily in that order.
3. Team Ironclad has chosen to express their desire to “not take cyclocross too seriously” by dressing up in Cream-sickle suits. Its sort of awesome, but you have to see it to believe it.  Wait for the footage!
4. Barry Wicks is tall.
5. So is Ryan Trebon.
6. Racing is better than watching.
7. It’s hard to feel crossy when the sun is out, but at least you get to wear big-ass sunglasses.
8. Dayquil is the new beer.
9. Nearly 1400 people raced today which is a new record. Another new record.
10. It’s possible that the Executive Director of the Oregon Bike Racing Association might be sandbagging the master B field, but you didn’t hear that from me, ‘aight?

Stay tuned for race footage, man-yell, slighty-drugged-anchor-lady, and cowbell fever – coming to an online video source near you in the next few days.

The Cyclocross Diaries are here and, I may be sick as a dog, but I am dedicated to bringing you the shenanigans – one long, slow slug of Dayquil at a time.

Proof! We were there. And there will be footage. Oh yes, there will be. Photo by Dave Roth (thanks, Dave!)